Greetings to my gullible empty-headed flock,
I’m writing to you with great heaviness of heart. You need to know that Satan has been hot on my trail. Just when it appeared we were on the verge of capturing the country for God, Satan threw a financial storm against us. You cannot imagine the number of souls that have gone to hell that this ministry could have saved if only I had more money!
I have seen visions in the night that have horrified me. Visions of your sons and daughters and your grandchildren burning in hell fire because this ministry has been limited financially. Many of you have shared with me that you tithe to this ministry. However a number of Bible scholars tell us that the bible teaches that really spiritual people don’t give 10% of their income they give 85%.
Now I’m praying that God will take away your questioning mind and replace it with a believing heart. Remember we walk by faith, and somewhere I read in the bible “if you believe it’s true then it is”. Well, I believe I’m of God. So therefore the bible has now told you I’m of God.
I’m enclosing with this letter a Popsicle stick. I want you to place it in your mouth and pray for a financial blessing to be upon this ministry. And I want you to know that while your praying I’m praying with a Popsicle stick in my mouth as well. Thereby we will have fellowship with one another. Why Popsicle sticks? The other day I was reading the “Big Book of Hebrew Catchphrases”, and in it, it said that the word Popsicle is not found in the bible. But Popsicles are cold, just like a non-giving heart. Your cold heart will be melted; either by the warm glow of giving money to my ministry or by the hideously hot flames of hell that awaits the unfaithful.
My dearly beloved, stop thinking, and start giving. Many television-type supposed servants of God speak of “seed faith offering”. You know, give God $10 and He’ll give you back $100. I want to take you to the next level. I call it “Fleece Faith Offering”, you give me both the $10 and the $100 then don’t worry about where it goes.
You have a simple choice. Buy your family food, pay your rent, and buy your kids shoes, and quite possibly go t
o hell. Or you can feed, house, and clothe the servant of God, and make sure to send him to the Bahamas once a year to proclaim the Word of God. May my mailbox reveal your faithfulness.
Your Humble $ervant.
Pastor Harley Flybucks