His Majesty King James
10. Other translations of the Bible are referred to as "modern translations". The term "modern" immediately raises a red flag in the minds of those of us who are spiritually sensitive. Sinners are forever looking for new or "modern" activities to destroy their souls with. We're familiar with the terms "modern rock music" and "modern co-ed swimming". If a woman is seen wearing pants, you may hear people say "she is dressed modern". You'll never hear the King James Version referred to as "modern". While these "modern" Satanic versions destroy men's souls, the King James Version delivers us from evil.
9. King James spelled backwards is gink semaj, which has no meaning. Therefore, in order for one's life to have meaning, one must read the King James Bible (forwards).
8. Being "King James Only" allows us to get on the nerves of other Christians, thereby teaching them patience.
7. The KJV was written in 1611. It is no accident that 16 minus 11 = 5, which is the number signifying grace in the Bible. Therefore one MUST read the King James Bible, NOT listen to rock music, NEVER wear makeup, AVOID tatoos and NEVER own a television...in order to understand grace.
6. If you play Black Sabbath's song "War Pigs" backwards, you can clearly hear the phrase "Ozzie Osborne reads the NIV".
5. True Christians have discovered that using the letters found in the name "King James" you cannot spell Satan, Beelzebub, Devil, Hell or Lake of Fire. You may have observed that you can find the letters to spell "sin", but why would you notice that unless you're in sin yourself? Which means you're going to hell anyway, so your observation is meaningless.
4. The Bible's clear message is that Christ is King. Throughout my years of research, I have yet to find a King NIV, a King NASB, or a King Good News for Modern Man. This clearly reveals that the KJV is the only version that accepts Christ as King.
3. Starting in Genesis and going through to Revelation, you can randomly select letters from every book in the Bible and spell "King James". Amazingly this also works if you start in Revelation and work your way backwards to Genesis.
2. King James was one of the Bible writers. It's true! You can find the book of James right after the book of Hebrews in your King James New Testament.
1. Speaking the King James English makes us sound more spiritual when we cuss at those who believe in a post-tribulation rapture.